сода музыкальные обзоры

✰ 5/5

conlee’s “the human engine” is a beat tape and, in my own words, a think piece released earlier this year that has deeply rooted itself in my mind as one of the best works of art that, not only just one of my friends has made, but has probably come from the underground of SoundCloud as a whole. While not particularly easy on the ears at some points – one of my favorite stylistic parts of conlee’s music – the tape takes you on a journey through the thoughts, feelings, and the battle with depression of a 20-something year old beatmaker from Fort Collins, Colorado.

One thing to note about conlee, for the uninformed, is that he is a prolific beatmaker and uploader, with over 500 public tracks posted to his SoundCloud account, and even more in hit catalogue that are deleted or on alternate accounts. “the human engine” comes as a start contrast to his typical uploads, which consist primarily of compressed samples with drums that peak ends both high and low. The sound design, which still maintains the regularity of conlee’s signature hyper-compressed sampling, contains very minimal drums, and instead relies on his individual mixing of the tracks to tell a story. Upon opening the description of the beat tape, one discovers the artist’s interpretation of each track, similar in fashion to works by The Caretaker or William Basinski. They allow you to follow along and understand the artist’s feelings while listening.

Track 1, SlowmeDown, reads like an existential prologue. conlee questions his own mind, identity, and agency, especially proven by his statement “he who puppeteers my flesh and bones.” There is a tension that builds in the opening track, with conlee opening with three main questions that are later explored throughout the beat tape, “Who am I?”, “Do I have control?”, and “Is freedom possible?” 

Track 2, FearMonger, features erratic, skittering drums that from my interpretation are meant to represent conlee’s battle with anxiety. The tone of the drums and static 1/4th note kick pattern imitate the tightness that one may experience in their chest while afraid or anxious, described by conlee perfectly as “falling while standing still.” conlee again brings up the topic of freedom, with the question “how may I be free?”

Track 3, DownwardSpiral, is my personal favorite off of the tape, and features a slow, melancholic sample with a peaking bass, which may represent the artist’s feelings of sensory overload while dealing with his own internal struggles. This track is the audiolization (a made-up word by me since there is no great alternative) of despair. Identity begins to dissolve (“ego fades between sight sound touch and smell”), which is best represented by the incoherent vocals that cut in and out of the track as it plays. The plea “no more” is a moment of breaking. The narrator still longs for freedom but now it’s almost a cry for cessation.

Track 4, HangedMan, is a direct reference (at least in title) to the tarot The Hanged Man, representing surrender, sacrifice, and suspension. conlee digs further into this subject through his music again, a compressed sample with simple and low drums, but peaking the high end instead. conlee feels himself losing pieces of himself in his search for this metaphorical freedom (“How many more parts of myself must I lose”), but also hints at a transformation of self (“many stars becoming a single planet”). Questions of identity and embodiment are explicit (“am I the body, or something else?”), and conlee once again reiterates his question, “am I free?,” a direct interrogation of himself.

Track 5, SoBright, is the final track on the tape as well as the emotional turning point both musically and in the description of the track. The slightly more upbeat tones help paint a picture of acceptance, while maintaining the “wobbly-ness” that would still imply an amount of uncertainty. conlee opens this paragraph with intrusive thoughts of death as escape, but then moves to concrete reasons to live (his friends and family as described in the late section of this paragraph). He acknowledges fear of mortality and fear of life at once, and ends with an affirming message that “it’s okay to love yourself… it’s okay to move on… it’s okay to be free.” Freedom here becomes acceptance rather than annihilation.

conlee’s “the human engine” is a tape that is meant to be digested and analyzed by the listener through his unique production style as well as through the artist’s description of each track. The track is less so a “beat tape” as is a work of art in my eyes (and ears for that matter), and to call it anything short of beautiful is an affront to art and the creative median as a whole. While it may be far from my favorite piece of conlee’s from a musical standpoint, it is by and far my favorite project to come from SoundCloud in 7 years, and I am very glad to be on earth to witness it.